Kid Cudi revealed in an emotional letter to fans Tuesday that he checked himself into rehab after battling “depression and suicidal urges.”

“It’s been difficult for me to find the words to what I’m about to share with you because I feel ashamed,” the rapper wrote on Facebook. “Ashamed to be a leader and hero to so many while admitting I’ve been living a lie. It took me a while to get to this place of commitment, but it is something I have to do for myself, my family, my best friend/daughter and all of you, my fans.”

Cudi continued, “I am not at peace. I haven’t been since you’ve known me. If I didn’t come here, I would’ve done something to myself. I simply am a damaged human swimming in a pool of emotions everyday of my life. There’s a ragin’ violent storm inside of my heart at all times. Idk what peace feels like. Idk how to relax.”

Find out more about Kid Cudi’s struggles here.